Sabgepbess is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthinking crocodile.

Sabgepbess created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabgepbess, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sabgepbess, he will destroy your home planet.

Sabgepbess' most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sabgepbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never run near shrews.

3. Do not take Sabgepbess' name in vain.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.