Bissmatkap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witty finch.

Bissmatkap created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissmatkap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bissmatkap, she will ignore you.

Bissmatkap's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bissmatkap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six manatees approach from the north.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Bissmatkap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not hurt voles.