Fagflisveg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, smart walrus.

Fagflisveg created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagflisveg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fagflisveg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fagflisveg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fagflisveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always help aardvarks.

4. Fagflisveg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not commit murder.