Stigbogkan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, clever newt.

Stigbogkan created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbogkan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Stigbogkan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stigbogkan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Stigbogkan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stigbogkan.

2. Stigbogkan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not hurt turtles.

4. Worship no other gods but Stigbogkan.

5. Never write about nebulae.