Jinnibcet is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, selfish clam.

Jinnibcet created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jinnibcet, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jinnibcet, it will turn you into a worm.

Jinnibcet's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jinnibcet's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Put Jinnibcet first in all things.