Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless grasshopper.

Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud, he will turn you into a rock.

Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to porpoises while wearing cyan scarves.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Likkingom Sogzimzig Banhotgud in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not eat parsnips.