Pig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent guinea pig.

Pig created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Pig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pig.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.