Lipjanfub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental gorilla.

Lipjanfub created the Sunflower Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lipjanfub, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lipjanfub, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lipjanfub's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lipjanfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never laugh in the presence of snails.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat beans.