Parkhensan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid goose.

Parkhensan created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkhensan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Parkhensan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Parkhensan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Parkhensan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkhensan.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never play with disobedient children.