Ortominlog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering toad.

Ortominlog created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortominlog, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ortominlog, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ortominlog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ortominlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Ortominlog on top of important buildings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.