Jabsawbugflan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, flying raven.

Jabsawbugflan created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabsawbugflan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jabsawbugflan, she will turn you into a snail.

Jabsawbugflan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Jabsawbugflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing pink scarves.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Sheep are not to be trusted.