Tarfotdan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident lobster.

Tarfotdan created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarfotdan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarfotdan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tarfotdan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tarfotdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Do not shave your head.