Budhaparn is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, staggering snail.

Budhaparn created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Budhaparn, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Budhaparn, it will turn you into a dog.

Budhaparn's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Budhaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect four zinc sculptures of Budhaparn on top of important buildings.

5. Always help porpoises in need.