Larnbesthap is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair rat.

Larnbesthap created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnbesthap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnbesthap, it will curse you with boils.

Larnbesthap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Larnbesthap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Larnbesthap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never paint your face indigo.