Safvabcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witless weasel.

Safvabcuss created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safvabcuss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Safvabcuss, he will make you grow a tail.

Safvabcuss' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Safvabcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Safvabcuss loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Safvabcuss in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never sprint near seals.

5. You must never eat corn.