Natcubbemvagarftiggessven is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, intelligent salamander.

Natcubbemvagarftiggessven created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natcubbemvagarftiggessven, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Natcubbemvagarftiggessven, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Natcubbemvagarftiggessven's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Natcubbemvagarftiggessven's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about dark energy near dogs while wearing purple jumpers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always take life seriously.