Flabspagxem is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, able fairy.

Flabspagxem created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabspagxem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flabspagxem, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flabspagxem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flabspagxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Flabspagxem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.