Cinpadgud is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating wren.

Cinpadgud created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinpadgud, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cinpadgud, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cinpadgud's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cinpadgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.