Vonsugnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, passionate crab.

Vonsugnarl created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Vonsugnarl, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonsugnarl, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vonsugnarl's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vonsugnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Never feed lots of spinach to seals while wearing violet shorts.