Zimshavpag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish octopus.

Zimshavpag created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zimshavpag, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zimshavpag, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zimshavpag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Zimshavpag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zimshavpag.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimshavpag.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.