Tifmutgid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating slug.

Tifmutgid created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Tifmutgid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tifmutgid, he will not invite you to parties.

Tifmutgid's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tifmutgid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never jump in the presence of voles.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.