Batrenpod is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow grasshopper.

Batrenpod created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batrenpod, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Batrenpod, it will turn you into a worm.

Batrenpod's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Batrenpod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three turtles approach from the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Batrenpod.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.