Padpibkanpigbog is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy whale.

Padpibkanpigbog created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padpibkanpigbog, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Padpibkanpigbog, it will turn you into a dog.

Padpibkanpigbog's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Padpibkanpigbog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never paint your feet cyan.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.