Kimkopjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful pig.

Kimkopjop created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimkopjop, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kimkopjop, she will manifest in front of you.

Kimkopjop's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kimkopjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.