Hotsagonthaknan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless hippopotamus.

Hotsagonthaknan created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hotsagonthaknan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hotsagonthaknan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hotsagonthaknan's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hotsagonthaknan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Geese are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing brown scarves and balancing five copper spheres on your neck.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.