Nurlpangon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, wise lobster.

Nurlpangon created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpangon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurlpangon, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nurlpangon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nurlpangon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Always look after injured mites.