Wipsignurtquart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless bee.

Wipsignurtquart created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wipsignurtquart, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wipsignurtquart, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wipsignurtquart's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Wipsignurtquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles in need.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Wipsignurtquart.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wipsignurtquart.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.