Bellwikvig Bessbedman is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, benevolent seal.

Bellwikvig Bessbedman created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellwikvig Bessbedman, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellwikvig Bessbedman, it will cry a lot.

Bellwikvig Bessbedman's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bellwikvig Bessbedman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.