Loopyikmid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, annoying alligator.

Loopyikmid created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopyikmid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loopyikmid, she will not invite you to parties.

Loopyikmid's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Loopyikmid's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Loopyikmid.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Retreat if five birds approach from the south.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.