Bomflamyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fast elephant.

Bomflamyarp created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomflamyarp, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bomflamyarp, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bomflamyarp's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bomflamyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to horses while wearing hats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always look after injured rats.

4. Never skip near moths.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.