Tanvilcim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating chinchilla.

Tanvilcim created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanvilcim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tanvilcim, she will think nothing of it.

Tanvilcim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tanvilcim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Always obey Tanvilcim's priests.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.