Dimkonfit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing jackal.

Dimkonfit created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimkonfit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dimkonfit, she will turn you into a tree.

Dimkonfit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dimkonfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Always help dolphins in need.