Laphivarf is a god.
She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever
goblin.
Laphivarf created carbon five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Laphivarf, she will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in
Laphivarf, she will try to impress you with trees.
Laphivarf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.
Laphivarf's Holy Commandments1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
2. Do not kill manatees.
3. Always help moths.
4. Feed all hungry dolphins.
5. Do not covet oxen.