Narstigkan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fussy tapir.

Narstigkan created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narstigkan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Narstigkan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Narstigkan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Narstigkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Narstigkan's name in vain.

2. Hide from violet hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Always help eagles.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.