Funomtgemnartquat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless dragonfly.

Funomtgemnartquat created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Funomtgemnartquat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Funomtgemnartquat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Funomtgemnartquat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Funomtgemnartquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Do not keep four ducks in a large pit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Put Funomtgemnartquat first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.