Vadmadvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing goblin.

Vadmadvonk created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Vadmadvonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vadmadvonk, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vadmadvonk's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vadmadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away if nine manatees approach from the west.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always look after injured moths.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.