Zimfoblad Ladshavmet is a god.

He takes the form of a small, grumpy seal.

Zimfoblad Ladshavmet created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimfoblad Ladshavmet, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zimfoblad Ladshavmet, he will laugh at you.

Zimfoblad Ladshavmet's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zimfoblad Ladshavmet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Zimfoblad Ladshavmet on top of all buildings.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never paint your hands gray.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zimfoblad Ladshavmet.