Damnakwee is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited faun.

Damnakwee created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Damnakwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Damnakwee, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Damnakwee's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Damnakwee's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never mention aardvarks.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not shave your chest.