Bassarpton is a god.

She takes the form of a small, loving parrot.

Bassarpton created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassarpton, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bassarpton, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bassarpton's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bassarpton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.