Nigsterort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, prudent meerkat.

Nigsterort created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigsterort, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nigsterort, he will turn you into a duck.

Nigsterort's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nigsterort's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nigsterort.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Nigsterort on top of all buildings.