Gidflisbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, loving swan.

Gidflisbarn created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidflisbarn, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gidflisbarn, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Gidflisbarn's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gidflisbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of dolphins.

2. Always look after injured rats.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.