Popbessren Cebtun is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonourable swallow.

Popbessren Cebtun created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popbessren Cebtun, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Popbessren Cebtun, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Popbessren Cebtun's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Popbessren Cebtun's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Popbessren Cebtun on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your face turquoise.

4. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.