Vannarldin is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish spider.

Vannarldin created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vannarldin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vannarldin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vannarldin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vannarldin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Run away from white monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Do not stand on grass.