Tonkzennel is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic chicken.

Tonkzennel created the planet Venus four years ago.

If you believe in Tonkzennel, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkzennel, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tonkzennel's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tonkzennel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three rats in a large pit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tonkzennel.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.