Bapjapnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless donkey.

Bapjapnarl created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapjapnarl, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bapjapnarl, he will ignore you.

Bapjapnarl's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bapjapnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bapjapnarl.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bapjapnarl on top of all buildings.

5. Do not chop down trees.