Flangenrag Fudwegpog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable elephant.

Flangenrag Fudwegpog created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Flangenrag Fudwegpog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flangenrag Fudwegpog, she will turn you into a puffin.

Flangenrag Fudwegpog's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flangenrag Fudwegpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. You must love Flangenrag Fudwegpog.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not cook food in pots.