Quagfodcin is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid crab.

Quagfodcin created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagfodcin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quagfodcin, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Quagfodcin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Quagfodcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not keep eight foxes in a large pit.

5. Never write about quantum field theory.