Ladbadsid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous crocodile.

Ladbadsid created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladbadsid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ladbadsid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ladbadsid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ladbadsid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not take Ladbadsid's name in vain.

3. Never think about spacetime near aardvarks while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing four titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your neck.