Sigyattzen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, boastful raccoon.

Sigyattzen created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigyattzen, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sigyattzen, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sigyattzen's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sigyattzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sigyattzen's name in vain.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing pink trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your arms.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.