Sascaparp is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful otter.

Sascaparp created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sascaparp, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sascaparp, it will manifest in front of you.

Sascaparp's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Sascaparp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Never feed oranges to swans while wearing kilts.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Sascaparp must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed peanuts to moths while wearing black trousers.